Category Archives: Truthy Tuesday

Truthy Tuesday: Fashion Fun and Marathon Mentality

* And for my next trick, I give you….. Chic Floridian Lesbian!

Denim.  Lobsters.  Waves.

Denim. Lobsters. Waves.

Back to school seriously makes me want to SHOP!  So does feeling fit and sexy!  I’m clearly not ready to let go of summer, hence the lobstered Bermudas but I’m on the hunt for fun accessories and blazers/jackets to pull my outfits together.  I’ve also replaced all my BRAS!

Truth time: as a result of years of yo-yo dieting, my boobs are like sandwich bags half full of pudding.   They look great in a push-up bra, as long as the band isn’t from 3 years ago when I was 40lbs heavier.  I typically buy my bras at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx because I have no boobs and it’s not terribly difficult to find inexpensive and cute bras.  This time, it took me a few tries to find a store that had any selection of 32B and 34B.  I was entirely prepared to buy A cup bras and was pleasantly surprised that there’s at least a B’s worth of pudding in there still.  Now I have all my colors and they all fit!  Best purchase I’ve made this season.

Oh, except for THIS:



I have coveted the J.Crew version of this pave link bracelet for years.  I’ve been on the fence about buying the BaubleBar version because it’s still a little pricey and now it’s sold out.  Today, I took a closer look at the jewelry case at MOTHERFUCKING TARGET and they had a really expensive looking version for $20.  I am so, so, so, so excited about this purchase.  I win.  I am the winner.

* I had an interesting experience today while shopping.  I’d been feeling really cute all day in my summery outfit.  As I was trying on a pair of boots, I looked in the mirror and my shorts had ridden up showing quite a bit of jiggle and cellulite.  Nothing scandalous but not attractive.  I had a fantastic workout this morning and had been feeling wonderful about my strong legs, which have historically been my least favorite body part.  My first reaction was “wow, that does not look lovely.”  So I sat down, adjusted my shorts and stepped back in front of the mirror.  I saw exactly what I had been envisioning all day: a cute, fit little lady.

Did the cellulite cease to exist?  Nerp.

Did it negate all of my other positive qualities and render me unattractive?  NO WAY!

I finally fully realized that the less good does NOT outweigh all the good!  Often we focus on our flaws and they eclipse our strengths.  We assume that everyone else is hyperfocused on the things we don’t care for and blind to every other quality.  Maybe we’re over-acknowledging our faults to steel ourselves against hurtful criticism.  Maybe we truly can’t see our beauty.  Maybe we can and feel like it’s not appropriate to appreciate it.

Without a doubt, it’s a process but I’m proud to say that today I felt great about myself and when I briefly noticed something I didn’t like, it didn’t change anything.

* On the flip side, yesterday I had a semi-meltdown about the upcoming marathon.  I felt bummed about my training paces, afraid I wouldn’t finish with a time I would be proud of, and disappointed in myself for not pushing harder.  Throughout this training cycle, I have purposely held myself back and adjusted to slower paces to avoid bonking in the big show.  I’ve read a thousand times that one shouldn’t have a time goal for their first marathon.   My stated goal has always been to finish without injury and with a smile.   As a result of setting conservative paces for most runs, I’ve hit them all right on the money.  I should feel great about my progress since I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.  But yesterday, I really really didn’t feel great.

I reached out to all the amazing Twitter ladies and one very special lady for support.

They affirmed everything that was important about the first marathon: finishing!  Being awesome!  Smiling!  In whatever time it takes on that particular day.   I’m so grateful for the support I’ve gotten from all of these incredible women.  My buddy Sara who is also running Portland (WOOOOO!) asked if I had been doing any speedwork.  I have most weeks but it’s been awhile since I really lit the fuse.  What’s the worst that could happen?




And so, about those Yasso 800’s that tell you your marathon pace?  Welp, I’m not planning on a 4:02 or a 3:40 marathon this time around but it certainly made me feel a LOT BETTER  about my loose goal of 4:30.  It could end up being 5:00 and I will still bawl happy tears at the finish line without a doubt.  I’m also clearly capable of more and I intend to remind myself of that every time things get rough.

* For me, belief follows proof.  I need to experience something to believe it will happen.  I can’t run 26.2 miles before I run 26.2 miles for a medal.  As a performer and human of the type-A variety, this is probably the biggest challenge.  I will have proved that I can endure and I will have proved I can endure more than I had before.  That’s going to have to be enough.

Tell us the truth: what’s your most BEAUUUUUTIFUL part?  😀


Truthy Tuesday

It’s Tuesday, right?

* I’m still recovering from ten wonderful but draining days commuting to a choir camp about 1.5 hours away.  The kids were fantastic but teaching eight students in a row is intense.  So is about 4 hours a day of commuting.

So much driving.  So much Diet Coke.

So much driving. So much Diet Coke.

* During the commutes, I became completely addicted to the Jillian Michaels Podcast.  It’s so inspiring, informative, and funny.  She and Janice are hilarious together.  I highly, highly recommend.  If you think you know Jillian as the hardcore ball-buster, that’s only one facet of her personality.  She’s actually very sweet and goofy.  I love her.

* Marathon training is really on.  It’s been on for 10 weeks already (how is THAT possible?) but hitting 15 took it to a new level.  So does today’s random 8 miler.  Remember what that was a long run?  Me too!  I have a strange combination of feelings about it.  It feels manageable from day to day which is good.  I feel strong and healthy which is awesome.  All the runs have been right on target which is fantastic.  And yet…’s still inconceivable.  And further yet…….it will happen.  

* I miss my bike!  I think I’m going to make time for a ride tomorrow.  When I was deep into triathlon training, I really felt like a triathlete.  I was equally invested in all three sports and reading about triathlon constantly.  My athletic identity had shifted away from “runner” and that was surprising to me.  It was partly due to the injury that sidelined me but more a result of triathlon immersion.  Now it’s all about the running and while I’ve completed triathlons, I know I won’t feel like a triathlete again until I begin my next training cycle.  And it’s going to be for a 70.3.  So if you’re reading, there’s a big ole confession squished into a random paragraph.  So don’t act like I didn’t tell ya!

* Today is seriously the best day ever.   This morning was my first long mid-week run.  8 miles on a Tuesday?  What what?!  Then a lovely student.  Then a big bowl of yummy lunch.

Next up: Dailey Method, delicious ice cream treat from Ici, then TV and pizza with my beloved.  We flew through Orange is the New Black so I’m thinking we’ll start either House of Cards or Orphan Black.  So so so my happy place.  After an insanely busy week, it’s amazing to have so much free time.

* Speaking of food, I’m pondering maybe experimenting with chemical free.  I’ve mentioned this to a couple friends who have laughed in my face (via text, naturally.  Who sees people?)

Yeah, I know.  I will have to remove the intravenous Diet Coke drip.

When telling my bestie, she said “so, you mean you’re going organic?”


I guess?  Is that what that is?  I really don’t like that sound of that at all.  I already drive a Prius, have a blog, freelance in the arts, and listen to This American Life.  How much more of a Bay Area cliché can I be?  Orgaaaaaaanic?  Ugh.

I also have a family full’a cancer.  So, might be time to disconnect.  From the Diet Coke IV.  Delicious synthetic lifeblood.

* This weekend, I am running a trail half marathon with 3000 feet of gain.  I am really excited.  It’s going to feel great on my body and I have no time pressure whatsoever.  I might even stop and eat the oreos at the aid station!

* As soon as I started running this morning, I realized I had forgotten sunscreen.  My back currently looks like this:

[Just spent about 5 min trying to take a back selfie.  No success.  Imagine some serious tan lines.]

Point being, maybe I shouldn’t worry so much about the chemicals I’m ingesting and worry a bit more about getting skin cancer.  Or maybe both.  And also the fact that less than two years of running has aged my face ten years.  No joke.

* Ramble complete!  Enjoy your Tuesday!


Truthy Tuesday

* It’s Tuesday somewhere, right?  Isn’t that how that works?

* A couple years ago, I went to Hong Kong to visit one of my best friends who plays in the Hong Kong Philharmonic.  (It’s often a day ahead there, which is why I thought of it.)  It was UHMAZING.  I did not expect to absolutely fall in love with it.  I’m not the intrepid traveler type, like my siblings who backpack all over the world.  At that time, I was still in the emotional fetal position because my comfort zone was so small.  Since Hong Kong was under British rule until relatively recently, it’s very accessible to an American.  People speak English!  In China!  Maybe it sounds lame but since Asia is so profoundly different culturally, it was a huge relief to have signs that I could read.  Beyond that incredibly superficial reason for enjoying a country, it was beautiful.  I had no idea that there was so much natural beauty there.  Many parts were hilly and lush and gorgeous in addition to the parts that were urban and congested.  SO.  COOL.  And the food.  Holy shit.  Give me all the monies so I can go back and eat infinity XLB.

At the famous Harbor light show.  It's neat.

At the famous Harbor light show. It’s neat.

* On that trip, my incredibly fit friend dragged my completely jet-comatose ass to a boot camp at 6am.  This was about a month before I began my 30 day challenge and started this blog!  So, I was not fit.  I don’t remember much from it besides struggling to run around the field as a warm-up, and being the worst partner ever in some kind of sandbag relay.  I think there was a TRX component that I did pretty well on, meaning I didn’t feel like I was going to perish and no one was yelling at me.  I agreed because a Lululemon ambassador was going to be there and my friend had the inside scoop that there was going to be a sweet giveaway.  At the end of one of the most painful hours of my life, I was rewarded with a limited edition scuba hoodie that, no joke, retails for $150.  And I decided I wanted to get fit and never feel that pathetic again in my life.

Nat and I in front of Big Buddha - the world's tallest outdoor seated bronze Buddha, before 2007.  Note EARNED Scuba Hoodie.

Nat and I in front of Big Buddha – the world’s tallest outdoor seated bronze Buddha, before 2007. Note EARNED Scuba Hoodie.

* If you weren’t aware of the Texas State Senator Wendy Davis’s filibuster yesterday, read this article.  She’s basically an Ironman.  Oh except at the end of her endurance event, the incredibly sketchy Texas State Senate took an illegal vote on a controversial bill that restricts abortion and then tried to dummy the time-stamp on the documents to make them look legit.  And I don’t think she got a medal but hopefully today she’s getting a massage and eating a lot of french fries.  Let’s give a hand to Twitter for partially ensuring that that the massively hypocritical law-breaking did NOT slide. (She can’t go to the bathroom for 12 hours or her filibuster ends but they can vote at 12:03?  GET REAL)  Truth: I am fascinated by the political process and used to follow politics quite closely.  I now find them so demoralizing and disgusting that I can barely stand to keep up.

* Hong Kong and filibusters.  Slightly off topic but hey, I occasionally think about things other than my posterior tibial tendon and the weather in Portland on October 6th 2013.

* I promised yesterday to write more about whether or not I’m going to capitalize on my new swimming confidence and do an Olympic tri this season.  I still don’t know.  For weeks, I’ve felt like I wanted nothing more than to give triathlon a big hug and temporarily turn away to make sure that I get through 26.2 with no more than a light grimace.  Oh, but the temptation of another amazing accomplishment this season is SO hard to resist, especially when I feel tantalizingly close to being able to complete it.

I already planned to cycle once and swim twice as cross training but with only running events on the horizon.  IF I could stick to that, doing two swims and one run a week that get incrementally longer, I could easily get to the distances needed for an oly.  Specifically, this one on August 11th.  Far enough from now and far enough from the marathon.  I would not be following a training plan.  Running would have to be the priority.  It feels insane but also very, very doable.  I thiiiiiiiink I would be able to keep my mind in check and find a balance between respecting the difficulty of the Oly but truly prioritizing the marathon.  I’m definitely trying to talk myself into it being okay rather than out of doing it.  It will certainly be better to PR the olympic distance next season if I take it way easy and just do it for fun this year……

Any triathletes wanna weigh in here?  Is an Olympic 2 months out from a marathon no big deal?  Am I making a huge mistake?

Huge mistake


* I MISS DAILEY METHOD.  I miss it so much.  I’m going SEVERAL TIMES next week.  I miss that hard(er) body feeling.  I miss my abs.  I miss my fun instructors.  I MISS IT.  That’s one major thumbs down for semi-training for the oly.  I was really looking forward to TDM a few times a week once I shifted gears, away from my gears.  (I am HILARIOUS with the punning!)  Must find way to incorporate it back into my routine.

* Summer is awesome for training because I am barely working.  It is not good for race registration for the same reason.  Yikes.

* I used a volunteer credit to register for a badass race next weekend.

I am going to do the running equivalent of Wendy Davis's filibuster.  NOT.

I am going to do the running equivalent of Wendy Davis’s filibuster. NOT.

My favorite race presenters, Brazen Racing, put on this great endurance event annually.  The Dirty Dozen is a 12 hour fully supported race where participants do as many 3.37 mile loops as they can stand.  Literally.  The Dirty Half Dozen is the same race but with a hour cut-off.  Still insane but marginally less so.  I’m participating in the 6 hour event but I already have a plan to do 3 loops equaling the 10 miles I have on my marathon plan.  I figure my first double-digit run after injury deserves a sweeeeeeet medal.  And a sweatshirt.  AND AN ITS-IT.  THEY SERVE ITS-ITS.  Hence, greatest race presenters on earth.  A friend of mine was the top female finisher in the 6 hour event last year and told me to watch out as it’s a total gateway drug to ultramarathoning.  I said we could discuss that once I get to 26.2.  Truth:  if I can do a marathon, I can do a 50k so I can see that happening.  #accomplishmentwhore

Patience or Oly?  Leave your truthy opinion in the comments….

Truthy Tuesday

* Yesterday I wore a blouse with owls and orange shorts with embroidered navy lobsters.  And a wedge.  I felt uhmazing.  What is better than an outfit that makes you feel adorable and sexy? WHAT I ASK?  And why don’t all my clothes make me feel that way?  Might be time for another closet purge…

* I’m exhausted.  I was exhausted yesterday.  Last week was a pretty heavy week of training but I generally feel more energized when I’m working out.  Tim says I seem sad but I’m not!  Just too tired to be goofy…

* I’m signed up for my first ever SPIN class!  The Bay Area is very limited in the fancy spinning department (I think there’s a SoulCycle studio in Marin?  Not at all convenient.) so I’m taking Flywheel in Seattle on Friday!  Woot!  I’m most excited about clipping in.  It’ll be cool to try that out.  I can guarantee I’m going to do as much clipping in and out practice as I can discreetly sneak in before and after class.

* I don’t know why I just searched shorts on the Forever 21 website.  What was I thinking?  I’m 30.  And the world is not my ob-gyn.

* Tonight, I return to Shadow Cliffs to swim in the lake and do a run with my new (hopefully FOREVER) training buddy.  I’m going to swim 800m straight.  I’ve done it in the pool plenty of times but not in the truly continuous open water.  Pretty scared about that but I need to know what it feels like and more importantly, I really need to know that I can do it.  I know I won’t quit but how hard will it be?  And how much time will it take?  I should know by about 6pm…

* As I was typing the last paragraph, I realized that I didn’t think I was going to quit.  That made me feel pretty good.

* I’m not feeling super amazing about next week’s (!) tri.  A lot of people from my tri club will be there.  Instead of that feeling cool and supportive, it just feels like more pressure.  And I don’t even know them!  I’m not sure what I’m nervous about.  Maybe since the first one went so well, I feel like I should be able to exceed those paces?  Maybe since the first one went so well, I’m afraid that this one is going to be a disaster?  I can’t PR because the swim course is twice as long, the bike is 2 miles longer, and the run is half a mile longer so that should be liberating but it’s not.  We’ll see how I feel after tonight’s swim.  Maybe that will have the awesome mojo effect that my speedy run did before Mermaid?

* Merlin is going through a crying phase.  Whatta baby.  He cries at the bedroom door when neither of us are in there and I have to call to him until he realizes that we’re all in the living room.  #dummy #atleastyou’rehandsome

I can read, you know.

I can read, you know.

Ever find yourself afraid of a workout?  Do you do it anyway?  

Truthy Tuesday – Post-Race Thought Dump

* The word “dump” is so gross but I find myself using it a lot.  “PhotoDump”, “ThoughtDump”……yuck.

* I just spent $56 on random tops at so I could get free shipping (saving $7 thankyouverymuch) on the one $10 shirt I really wanted.  My intention was to return the other stuff and BEAT THE SYSTEM MWAHHAHAHAHAH!  Except, if that was really my intention, why didn’t I order ugly things that I would definitely return?  Instead I ordered stuff I wanted and I’m fairly certain I will not return them.  This is called false economy.

* Speaking of shirts, how f*cking CUUUUUUTE is the Mermaid shirt?  I love the color and it is really soft.  I’m in love.


* Last night, I started to re-read Runner’s World’s Big Book of Marathon and Half-Marathon Training.  I started to get really psyched!  My foot has been good for a couple months now and having three speedy runs in the span of a week has really boosted my confidence.  I paid close attention to the material on pacing.  Running truly slowly on long runs has been a challenge for me.  It’s going to be so much more important now as marathons are soooo long AND I don’t want to re-injure myself.  According to McMillan and Runner’s World, my easy run and long run pace should be around 10-11 minutes a mile.  Something about that bugs me but if my goal is to finish my first marathon, it’s probably going to be at a 10 minute mile, max.  That is marathon goal pace.  That means long runs are even slower.  I’m writing this out for my own benefit.  Run slowly.  Seriously.  Even now, while the long runs are short.  Get used to it.  Slow down.  Training runs are not the time to prove yourself.  Nobody cares.

* On Twitter, I recently asked my blogger comrades if they blog the way they speak.  I totally do and the above stream of consciousness might give you a bit of insight as to what I’m dealing with 24/7.  A ticker tape of inanity.

* My dad is having surgery on Thursday.  His surgeon has a 99.8% success rate with the procedure and does many of them a day.  That statistic is still not good enough for me and I doubt I will exhale between 11am and 12:30pm when I hear that he’s okay.  He has been my best friend in the world since day birth.  If you have any good wishes to send Seattle-way on Thursday 6/13, I’d be grateful.

* Wait, this post was supposed to be about my post-race thoughts!  BRB, gotta go do a very slow run…

[5.0 / 54:23 / 10:52 average pace.  NO foot pain!  Kept it slow, slow, slow!  Huzzah!]

* Okay, we need to find a better term for an “easy” run.  The thing is, whether it’s an 8 minute mile or an 11 minute mile, it’s tiring!  I’m going with “slow” or “recovery” or “Sisyphean.”

* This afternoon,  I had a massive dehydration headache after swimming 800 meters.  I got out of the pool, drank the rest of the water I brought, and sat with my head between my legs for a good five minutes.  Finally left the gym and threw up in the Home Depot parking lot.  Hashtag? Winning!

* It won’t be Tuesday much longer so tomorrow you can look forward to a “What I Learned From my First Tri” including “What I Want to do Differently on my Second Tri“!

Tuesdaaaaaay Aaaaaafternoooooon….

Truthy Tuesday – Race Week Miscellany

This week is less confessional and more of a thought dump.


* On Sunday night, I had about an hour and a half of panicky thoughts about this weekend’s tri.  I was curled up in bed, trying to fall asleep, but my mind was committed to visualizing every aspect of the race.  I could see myself bobbing in the water before the start.  My heart started to race and my shoulders crept up to my ears as I imagined myself getting tired during the swim.  I took a deep breath and imagined myself getting out of the water, unzipping my wetsuit, finding my bike, yanking off the suit…




These thoughts were so detailed, I’m pretty sure I imagined the entire race in real time.  Heart would race, shoulders would creep, big deep breath, repeat.  Eventually I resorted to counting Merlins to calm down.

I wish, dude.

I wish, dude.

* I absolutely can’t wait to marry Tim.  (Oh yeah, I’m engaged!)  I had a nice moment at TDM the other day when a woman complimented my ring and said the sparkling distracted her through thigh work.  Bling!  We’ve been engaged for almost three years so it’s nice to feel like a bride from time to time.  November can’t come soon enough!  Also, (and sorry in advance for the brag) he came home with a pile of nomination essays for Teacher of the Year.  I read them all with the hugest grin on my face.  His students praised him for being fair, funny, easy to relate to personally, and for making history come alive in a way that was interesting and relevant.  Several also said that he “wasn’t racist.”  So that’s good!  ?????  Go honey!

Loves cats and is not racist.

Loves cats and is not racist.

* I’m really looking forward to See Jane Run 5k this weekend!  I wish I could give it my all and get the huge PR I expected pre-injury and pre-Mermaid registration.  My foot is strong but I haven’t done any speedwork since February and I still struggle at paces that used to be recovery.  I think I can squeak out a PR but I also don’t want to push too hard since the main event is Sunday!  The game plan is not to hold back from the start and push in the last mile, if I can.  It will still be a really fun event!

* SJRSFAMB13 is still the code for 10% off the registration fee for the 5k or half marathon.  Join me!

Chocolate and champagne at 9am.  I mean, come on!

Chocolate and champagne at 9am. I mean, come on!

* I had a massage at National Holistic Institute in Emeryville yesterday.  My buddy Jenn works there and got me in on their teacher appreciation day!  I opted for Shiatsu and got a very nice, sweet massage therapist.  They’re all students but totally professional.  I was so, so sore yesterday.  I honestly didn’t feel a tremendous difference after the massage but I certainly didn’t feel worse and it was a relaxing hour.

* My semi-secret time hopes for my races this week are: <29:19 for See Jane Run.  I’d love to be around 28:00.  For the tri, I’d love to do the swim in 10 min, the bike in 45, and the run in about 22 min.  It would be cool to finish the entire thing in 1:30ish.  If I don’t, no biggie.  I truly just want to finish with a smile.  That was convincing, right?

* So far, overlapping the first weeks of marathon training with tri training feels terrible.  I need stay in the tri zone but I hate that I can’t give my full effort or mental space to marathon training.  It scares me.  Once I complete my first couple longer runs, I will feel much better.

* This season of Mad Men is so excellent.  I love the color and the energy.  Also, this week’s Game of Thrones??? Dang.  Brutal.

* I am still hella sore.  I am going to be a triathlete in five days.  That is cray.

Anyone wanna brag about their darling?  Got some Tuesday truth to share?

Truthy Tuesday

* My daily comfort level with my body depends almost exclusively on how bony my hipbones feel when I’m laying in bed in the morning.

* I’ve never smoked a cigarette or had a glass of milk. Not once.

* Before I started running, it was unheard of for me to go número dos in a public restroom. Getting comfortable with that is one of the things I’m most proud of in this whole deal!

* I find myself feeling competitive when looking at past finishing times for my upcoming tris. Wonder if I’ll ever be on an AG podium? I would kind of really like that a lot.

* My biggest fear is that my dad would get Alzheimer’s and forget me.

* I miss my friends. Several who are really important to me are far away and I wish they were here.

* I’m not sure I’m 100% crazy about my wedding dress and it’s my second one. I literally have two unworn wedding dresses in my closet.

* I watch a ton of terrible shows (and many great ones, lest you think I’m a total idiot). One I really love is ‘Wife Swap.’

Bring on the truthy…

Truthy Tuesday

Warning:  Not perky truthy.

You’ve been warned.  Proceed!

* The longer my swim workouts get, the more intimidating they are.  Even though I could always switch to breast stroke, sometimes the intimidation is crippling.  Twice this week (and yes, it’s only the second day of the week), I sat in the parking lot of the pool and came up with an excuse to reschedule the workout.

* I drink an obscene amount of Diet Coke every day.  We buy it at Costco by the flat and it’s usually gone by the weekend.

* My body image has improved and I’ve learned to appreciate my body for what it does.  Really and truly.  But….my body is completely covered in stretch marks and sometimes that makes me want to cry.

* I want to do this.

* I look at the speed/resistance on the treadmills and stationary bikes of people around me and I judge.

* Sometimes I really, really resent the fact that I have to work so fucking hard to maintain my weight when I work out so hard, so much.  It feels really unfair.

* I’m much, much, much, much more comfortable alone.

* I really don’t understand how high-profile bloggers who get tons of swag and even book deals get away with writing next to nothing on their blogs.  Posting two sentences and a picture of your Garmin should not earn you free shoes, race entries, and Larabars.  Nor should just reposting pictures from your Instagram account.  Get real.  And then get some content.

* I can watch infinity episodes of ‘Chopped’ in a row.  I call it “falling into a Chopped hole.”

* I haven’t seen or spoken to my mom since November of 2010.  She lives 15 miles away.

* I want to get good at triathlon.  Like, good.

That was pretty real for a Tuesday.  Anything you want to truth?