This morning was supposed to be my big confidence-boosting race distance swim. Just get in the water and keep pushing through. It might be a slog but doable right?
I got in a breast stroked a couple laps to warm up. Felt fine. Began my main set at a conservative pace. Felt fine until the second lap when my labored breathing told me to slow down. I got through a few more laps reminding myself that I was still warming up and not to be concerned. Mentally, I tried to think of it like a 3-4 mile run: first third is a warm up, I’ll find a nice groove in the middle, and nearing the finish would help me push through to the end.
After a few more laps, I had to switch to breast stroke to get my breath under control. That was demoralizing and I began to hear “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” Not helpful but sadly, I was right. I found a nice groove for a couple laps after that but it was short lived. After only 10 laps, I switched to breast stroke again briefly.
By lap 12 (less than half of the total distance) I was crying in my goggles and so nauseated that I had to get out of the pool. Barely made it to the locker room.
I changed quickly, tears in my eyes. Got to the car and just cried. And texted expletives to my husband and super patient friend IronmanJess. They were both encouraging and sweet as I questioned if today is the day to throw in the towel.
It isn’t. I’m going to try again tomorrow but again, F*CK. I have no one to blame but myself. I avoided swimming and I’m paying for it now. It’s only 30-40 minutes of a 6.5 hour race so I CANNOT let it wreck my entire experience. Hopefully tomorrow goes a bit better so I get the boost I was seeking today.
Bright side: celebrated runner and badass lady Lauren Fleshman made my day:
#DonkeyLobby. Tell your friends.
What do you do when you have a TRULY SHITTY WORKOUT WHEN YOU REALLY NEED A GOOD ONE?!