Adjustment and Acceptance

Since my most recent post, there has been some progress.

I’m so grateful for the comments and tweets from all you amazing folks who have experienced the same doubt and frustration.  There were some great suggestions, many of which I knew I should do but really appreciated hearing in a supportive (instead of self-critical) tone.

One of the suggestions was to potentially ride with a Camelbak.  For some reason, I thought this was verboten but I didn’t find anything to that effect on the Augusta 70.3 website.  In fact, I found numerous threads on different triathlon websites about their use.  Most triathletes on the boards were against it because it’s not aero (don’t give a sh*t), it’s dorky (super don’t give a sh*t), and it’s hot (fair enough).  The idea of being able to drink continuously at my leisure and only have to refill it once lifted a large weight off my shoulders.  Ironic!   Pulling over to gobble some food every half hour won’t add more than 5 min to my bike time and will surely save me 5 minutes on the run since I’m less likely to bonk the bonk of death.

I chose the smallest one.  It feels very comfortable and holds 1.5 liters.  And it’s pretty.

My new, pink friend who will save my life!

My new, pink friend who will save my life!

It was suggested that I just get in the pool and swim the whole distance.  Touché.  It’s on my training plan for this week.  So is a 3+ hour bike ride and a 9 mile run.  If I can successfully complete those three workouts, I will believe that I can do this.

This weekend, my wonderful parents visited from Seattle.  I discovered that my dad had some concerns about triathlon in general but specifically the swim.  As I explained to him about the kayaks AND safety folks out on the course AND the buoyancy of my wetsuit AND the speedy current AND the fact that I could always breast-stroke, I realized I’m fine.  It might be hard and scary but it will end.  Same with the bike.

The most significant progress I’ve made in the last few days is in the form of adjustment and acceptance.  Training for this 70.3 has not felt how I thought it would feel based on previous training.  It’s been fun and successful physically but draining and demoralizing emotionally.  I’ve been too focused on what I can’t do that I haven’t celebrated or trusted what I can.  That negativity has fed on itself week after week to the point where OF COURSE I WANTED TO QUIT.

It isn’t what I thought it would be but that’s okay.  I don’t feel like superwoman.  I’m unsure.  I’m disappointed with this whole endeavor and that in itself is disappointing but again, it’s okay.  I’m beginning to accept this for what it is and intend to make the most out of the next 4 weeks.

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2 thoughts on “Adjustment and Acceptance

  1. Cathryn says:

    I was very nervous about my husband doing the swim part of his Ironman in Canada in July. I was scared he was going to drown. In the end, I was hugely impressed by the safety measures in place – the numerous kayakers, SUP-pers etc. I saw two swimmers be brought out the water by the safety boat for good reasons and they also reassured us that tired swimmers could hold onto the kayaks if necessary, just not move forward. I totally understand your dad’s fears but I felt much more comfortable having seen the Ironman machine in action!

  2. Shauna says:

    That’s so nice to hear, Cathryn! I don’t have open water anxiety (oddly!) but at that distance, it’s so great to know there’s good support if something unexpected happens.

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