* And for my next trick, I give you….. Chic Floridian Lesbian!
Back to school seriously makes me want to SHOP! So does feeling fit and sexy! I’m clearly not ready to let go of summer, hence the lobstered Bermudas but I’m on the hunt for fun accessories and blazers/jackets to pull my outfits together. I’ve also replaced all my BRAS!
Truth time: as a result of years of yo-yo dieting, my boobs are like sandwich bags half full of pudding. They look great in a push-up bra, as long as the band isn’t from 3 years ago when I was 40lbs heavier. I typically buy my bras at Marshall’s and TJ Maxx because I have no boobs and it’s not terribly difficult to find inexpensive and cute bras. This time, it took me a few tries to find a store that had any selection of 32B and 34B. I was entirely prepared to buy A cup bras and was pleasantly surprised that there’s at least a B’s worth of pudding in there still. Now I have all my colors and they all fit! Best purchase I’ve made this season.
Oh, except for THIS:
I have coveted the J.Crew version of this pave link bracelet for years. I’ve been on the fence about buying the BaubleBar version because it’s still a little pricey and now it’s sold out. Today, I took a closer look at the jewelry case at MOTHERFUCKING TARGET and they had a really expensive looking version for $20. I am so, so, so, so excited about this purchase. I win. I am the winner.
* I had an interesting experience today while shopping. I’d been feeling really cute all day in my summery outfit. As I was trying on a pair of boots, I looked in the mirror and my shorts had ridden up showing quite a bit of jiggle and cellulite. Nothing scandalous but not attractive. I had a fantastic workout this morning and had been feeling wonderful about my strong legs, which have historically been my least favorite body part. My first reaction was “wow, that does not look lovely.” So I sat down, adjusted my shorts and stepped back in front of the mirror. I saw exactly what I had been envisioning all day: a cute, fit little lady.
Did the cellulite cease to exist? Nerp.
Did it negate all of my other positive qualities and render me unattractive? NO WAY!
I finally fully realized that the less good does NOT outweigh all the good! Often we focus on our flaws and they eclipse our strengths. We assume that everyone else is hyperfocused on the things we don’t care for and blind to every other quality. Maybe we’re over-acknowledging our faults to steel ourselves against hurtful criticism. Maybe we truly can’t see our beauty. Maybe we can and feel like it’s not appropriate to appreciate it.
Without a doubt, it’s a process but I’m proud to say that today I felt great about myself and when I briefly noticed something I didn’t like, it didn’t change anything.
* On the flip side, yesterday I had a semi-meltdown about the upcoming marathon. I felt bummed about my training paces, afraid I wouldn’t finish with a time I would be proud of, and disappointed in myself for not pushing harder. Throughout this training cycle, I have purposely held myself back and adjusted to slower paces to avoid bonking in the big show. I’ve read a thousand times that one shouldn’t have a time goal for their first marathon. My stated goal has always been to finish without injury and with a smile. As a result of setting conservative paces for most runs, I’ve hit them all right on the money. I should feel great about my progress since I’m stronger than I’ve ever been. But yesterday, I really really didn’t feel great.
I reached out to all the amazing Twitter ladies and one very special lady for support.
They affirmed everything that was important about the first marathon: finishing! Being awesome! Smiling! In whatever time it takes on that particular day. I’m so grateful for the support I’ve gotten from all of these incredible women. My buddy Sara who is also running Portland (WOOOOO!) asked if I had been doing any speedwork. I have most weeks but it’s been awhile since I really lit the fuse. What’s the worst that could happen?
I SEE A SEVEN!
And so, about those Yasso 800’s that tell you your marathon pace? Welp, I’m not planning on a 4:02 or a 3:40 marathon this time around but it certainly made me feel a LOT BETTER about my loose goal of 4:30. It could end up being 5:00 and I will still bawl happy tears at the finish line without a doubt. I’m also clearly capable of more and I intend to remind myself of that every time things get rough.
* For me, belief follows proof. I need to experience something to believe it will happen. I can’t run 26.2 miles before I run 26.2 miles for a medal. As a performer and human of the type-A variety, this is probably the biggest challenge. I will have proved that I can endure and I will have proved I can endure more than I had before. That’s going to have to be enough.
Tell us the truth: what’s your most BEAUUUUUTIFUL part? 😀