My name is Shauna and I’m afraid of speed-work.
I’m not afraid of being in pain, screaming at myself to keep going, sweating, or barfing up my heart.
I’m scared of bonking out during an interval and feeling like my former self: a quitter who had no heart. And as I write that my heart aches a bit. I feel like it’s really mean and unfair to all the versions of me who have done the best they can with what they knew. The “old” me did not know any of this was possible or she would have done it!
Wow, that went to a Judy Blume place I wasn’t expecting! Back to the speed work.
Planned a pyramid: 1 mi warm up, 1 min fast, 1 min slow, etc. up to 3 min and back down. Cool down after intervals to complete 4mi total.
It was cooooold. For California. I could see my breath so I may have started a bit fast in an effort to warm myself up. When my first interval was cued, I hauled ass. It was brutal and when I was prompted to do my next (slower) interval, I was already DYING. Might have gone out a bit too fast.
I dutifully picked up my pace at the next interval. 3/4 of the way through, I just stopped. Paused RunKeeper (CHEATER!). Keeled over to catch my breath.
Definitely went out too fast.
The rest of the workout went pretty much like that. As I told Twitter immediately afterward, I PR’d in stopping: 10 times in 4 miles. #duhwinning
Fairly early in the workout, it occurred to me that my biggest fears about speed work were being realized. I was struggling. Bonking. Stopping. Failing. The workout was too hard.
I got to the end of the run and had a little kick left for the last quarter mile. Humbled and thirsty, I reviewed the interval splits.
NOT TOO SHABBY! I was really pleased when I saw this! Obviously I would prefer the fast intervals to be much, much more consistently paced. And I would prefer not to stop every 3 minutes to ponder my mortality.